I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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