I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
