You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
