oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
