I think I died a long time ago.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just want nice things and good sex
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
