it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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