He disabled his match.com account in front of me
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
