im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
