i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
