I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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