I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
