also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
