I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
