Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
