my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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