Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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