sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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