Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
