so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
