broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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