Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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