his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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