i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
