THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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