Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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