I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
