He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
