he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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