I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
home. puking in laundry basket.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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