I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
