Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
