My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
