Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
