They should really pass out barf bags in church
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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