I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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