I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
