shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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