what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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