I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
