so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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