Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
