I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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