I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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