Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
