somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
