Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
