I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
