I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
