there was a trapeze. enough said
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
