I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
