Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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