My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He called his prostate his "boner button".
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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