her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
