He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
