so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
