Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
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