You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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