Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
