Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
