Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
